It is a common belief that grooms cannot care less about wedding planning. Traditionally, a groom’s only duties include throwing the most talked about stag party, show up at the wedding in a suit picked by the bride and enjoy a honeymoon. Thus, many men, who would otherwise be more helpful, are discouraged by society’s attitude towards wedding planning.

Modern grooms know better than this. They are ready to get more involved in wedding planning and shoulder as many responsibilities as the bride. Only, it is important to approach the subject delicately. Ask your groom to take care of the flower arrangements, and you’ll see him running in the opposite direction. 

Here are some tips to keep in mind when getting your groom involved in wedding planning:

Discuss it with him

 

The first step in actively involving your groom in planning your wedding is to tell him clearly, that you would like the two of you to plan your wedding together. Society’s norms may have him believe that he isn’t supposed to do anything as far as your wedding is concerned; it’s the bride’s sacred space. Once this is out of the way, ask him how he pictures your wedding like. Also ask him about the things that are important to him for his wedding day. Focus on what interest him most, what he is best at doing.  Listen carefully to what he has to offer, and you will know where he can help. More than anything else, the initial discussion will help make the two of you feel like a team that is ready to share responsibilities.
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Decide on your “wedding time”


While you may enjoy flipping through bridal magazines day in and day out, chances are your groom does not. Instead of bombarding him with wedding plans at random times, pick a specific day or two in the week to go over your plans and progress. Make sure you decide on an organized channel of communication and keep each other informed about what you have completed. Use planning tools to make the process smoother. Be sure you’re not chatting too much about your wedding, outside of the time you set aside.  It avoids fights between the two of you, and gives you much-needed breaks from all the planning stress.
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Tap into his interests

This is the best way to get him involved in the planning process, without him cringing about it. Is he a technical, creative or handy kind of guy? What does he enjoy most:  creating cocktails, ordering transport, or playing DJ? Is he a designer or is he great with logistics? Can he negotiate and take over vendor discussions? Whatever be his special talents and interests, be sure you play to them and assign him tasks accordingly. This way you will not only get more jobs done, but also by someone who understands them better than you do.
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Delegate responsibilities


Yes, you want him to enjoy the planning process, but wavering slightly from the above point, it doesn’t mean you are stuck with the most cumbersome tasks. Along with fun tasks, also assign him some other responsibilities you may not thrilled about. It is also important because the guy doesn’t always know what’s stressing you out. You have to tell him everything he is responsible for.  If you want him to plan the honeymoon, tell him so. Some of the things you might not necessarily be excited about and your groom can take up include the guest list, scouting for venues, the suits, drinks and the food.

Encourage and support his ideas


Asking your groom to be involved in wedding planning is great, but shooting down all his ideas is not. If he suggests something, consider the idea and then give your feedback. If you think it’s really important to him, implement it. If you don’t like it very much and think it won’t matter too much to him, diplomatically put forth your thoughts. There may be things that you are absolutely confident about, such as the seating arrangement or the venue for a function. In that case, you don’t need to ask for your opinion if you don’t want to hear it. If he doesn’t like your idea and you admonish him, it will only end up frustrating him. Value his inputs and suggestions to make him feel like an active member of the wedding planning team.
Photo credit: Desi Intervention Photography